Goodbye
by Foxy Kurama
Summary: Yaoi HxK Is Hiei and Kurama's love True? Kind of a songfic, not really. In it, Kurama sings Smile by Lonestar. enjoy!
1. Love?

(fist chaps a little short. v.v Hope you like!)

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Kurama smiled as he watched the Sakura petals fall around him. It had been this time of year only 12 months ago that he had admitted his love for Hiei. They had gone for a walk to the park they frequented on off days of the Rekai Tentai. Though Kurama went to school in between, he still had plenty of time to walk in the park with Hiei; or so he liked to think.

The truth was, Kurama didn't have time. He had plenty of homework after school and filled his weekends with extra curriculars, but always told Hiei there was nothing to do. Kurama couldn't help pushing aside all the things he had to do when he got the chance to spend time with the koorime; the little demon seemed to make all his troubles disappear.

"He's like an eraser, getting rid of all the things on my to-do list," Kurama thought to himself, getting up and walking back toward his house.

At first they were just partners, then became friends, but gradually the fox fell. He watched Hiei's every movement and enjoyed it as he would dessert, savoring every glance that came his way and every word the youkai spoke.

It was that joy that kept him going every day, that and the love of his mother. Kurama had thought of suicide before, leaving the depressing earth and ningin body and residing in rekai, maybe even seeing Kuronue. But the tug of reality took away the glamour as the guilt of breaking his mother's heart set in. She loved him, and he didn't want to hurt her, after all, she would have had a normal, loving son or daughter if he hadn't intervened.

Kurama sighed as his thoughts were drawn back to Hiei, the demon he couldn't seem to stop thinking about. He had loved the fire demon for a long while, but it had just been a year ago that he had confessed.

Flashback-

_Kurama walked, a little uneasily today, down the path next to Hiei, eyes staring straight forward and hand fidgeting nervously in his pocket. This was one problem Hiei invoked, instead of pushed away. He sat on the park bench immediately as they arrived, and tried to calm himself._

_He was going through with it, 'it's now or never,' Kurama thought as Hiei stared at the fox who was trying to hide a worried look._

_"What's wrong Fox?" Hiei asked, standing in front of the seated kitsune. Kurama struggled to push away the thoughts of rejection as he took a deep breath._

_"Hiei, I care for you." Hiei blinked, confused by the statement. "You're my friend," Kurama continued, "but I care for you as more than a friend." Kurama's gaze dropped to his hands, fidgeting slightly in his lap. "I love you, Hiei." Kurama looked up, expecting to see an angry expression on Hiei's face, but all he saw was an awe-struck one. An eager expression replaced Kurama's fearful one as he awaited Hiei's reaction._

_It took seconds for the red head's words to set in and Hiei blinked several times, staring at Kurama's hopeful face before he bent down to throw his arms around the fox._

_Kurama's heart leapt with joy as he felt the koorime's warm embrace, and stood lifting Hiei completely off his feet._

_Hiei enjoyed the love given as Kurama buried his teary emerald eyes in his raven hair._

end flashback-

Kurama reached the door to his mother's house and opened the door with his key, making sure to lock it securely behind him. It was almost dark and time for Kurama to sleep, after he finished his homework of course.

Skipping steps up to his room, Kurama threw open his English book and skimmed though the reading assignment. He skipped the rest of the pages, having finished the assessment, and did the same with his science.

Biology was his favorite subject, also the easiest, and he finished within five minutes. Quickly throwing on his pajamas, Kurama set his alarm and climbed into bed, hoping Hiei would come visit him.

Hiei didn't come and before Kurama knew it he woke to his alarm. It was six thirty, and he could still get to school by seven thirty if he slept in a half an hour and ran fast. Turning his alarm off and going back to sleep, Kurama woke at seven and slowly climbed out of bed. Jumping in the shower, he was out in five minutes, brushing his teeth as he dressed. Once dressed, Kurama hurried down the stairs, grabbing some toast and his things and hurrying out the door.

On the way he encountered Yusuke, who he had forgotten to avoid, and Yusuke asked why he was running.

"Slept in," Kurama stammered, increasing his speed and trying to outrun the detective. After a minute of running, Yusuke gave up and turned down a side street toward an arcade.

Kurama sighed as Yusuke left and got to school just in time for the bell. He sat down and the class handed in their papers, today talking about photosynthesis and respiration.

Five minutes into the class period and Kurama was already tired of hearing Mr. Hamasake talk. He started to draw something in his notebook, setting it up perfectly and sketching the background first.

By the end of the class period, Kurama only had to finish coloring the hair, and finished shading it with his pencil before he stood to walk to his next class.

In English it was the same and Kurama flipped the page to start a more elaborate drawing. His doodle took up the rest of the day and when the last bell rang, Kurama ran all the way home.

Running up the stairs and throwing his things on his bed, he found Hiei in the tree outside his window and invited him in. Hiei never let himself in, it was always Kurama that had to invite him. Strange as it was, Kurama ignored it, completely happy for the first time in his life.

He was perfectly content sitting on the couch with Hiei in his lap, watching TV. Kurama wasn't really paying attention to the TV, but they stayed that way until it got too late and Kurama nudged Hiei to get off him. He climbed the stairs, Hiei a ways behind him, and once in his room, dressed for bed. Hiei held back a little, then after a sad look from Kurama, climbed into bed beside him.

The school books lay forgotten on the floor as Kurama and Hiei snuggled close, enjoying a Friday night.

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no lemon but you get the idea. review! XD 


	2. What!

This is the longest chapter with a total of **four** pages! Wow… I could do better --!

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In the morning, Kurama woke to a Hiei who acted as if nothing had happened, flipping though one of a large collection of books on Kurama's shelf. Kurama smiled at the fire youkai who smiled back, standing and walking to the bed. Stretching, Kurama climbed out of bed and walked to his closet to find something to wear. Time seemed to slow down when he was with Hiei, but it all ended too soon.

"Shuichi! Are you awake?" Kurama's mother yelled up from the stairs, hearing some commotion on the second floor.

"Yes mother," Kurama answered, opening the door fully dressed and looking down at the woman calling him.

"I want you to run to the store for me; we need milk." Kurama nodded and looked back toward Hiei who was gone. Sighing, Kurama came down the stairs, slipping on his shoes and taking the money from his mother.

"I'll be back in no time," he commented, heading out the door and down the street toward the market.

Kurama came back with milk on his shoulder, walking slowly, not paying attention to anything around him. He walked into the kitchen, where his mother sat reading the recipe for a cake, and put the milk in the fridge.

"Thank you Shuichi," she said smiling, and Kurama smiled back, nodding, then headed to the living room to see what was on TV. Nothing was on of course, and after flipping through the channels twice, Kurama headed to his room. He quickly finished up his homework, and set the notebook with his drawings on his bookshelf. Once and a while, he would open it, and flip though the many pages, admiring his handy work and how well he could draw his lover, but most of the time, he spent laying in his bed, staring at the ceiling and thinking. It was later that day that Hiei returned, an impassive look on his face, climbing though the window without invitation, and starling Kurama, who was again leafing through his drawings. Kurama smiled, but this time Hiei did not smile back, and Kurama instantly took the koorime in his arms. Sitting on his bed with Hiei in his lap, Kurama softly asked Hiei if anything was wrong. Hiei climbed out of Kurama's arms and stood, facing him.

"I'm sorry Kurama, I just want to be friends."

Kurama's eyes widened in disbelief but before he could say anything, Hiei had gone, throwing open the window and disappearing into the evening light.

_'What about last night?'_ Kurama thought to himself, still gaping, _'did it mean nothing? Did all the nights, and evening we spent together mean nothing?'_ Kurama felt tears come to his eyes and wiped them away furiously. How could this be? Didn't Hiei love him? Kurama through himself at his pillows, refusing to believe what Hiei had just said. It can't be. "I need him. I need you Hiei," Kurama whispered into the damp pillow.

He lay there until he had cried himself dry, which was when he finally fell asleep.

He slept until noon and when he finally got out of bed, it was three. Kurama didn't bother to change clothes, and walked out the door, his hair a mess and his shirt wrinkled. He walked down the street silently, deep in thought and not noticing a car and a couple of bicycles that almost hit him.

_'I could easily dart out into the street. I would get hit before the driver could stop.'_ He continued to walk, passing various shops and people he knew and didn't, some calling to him, but he kept walking. _'what about bleeding to death…'_ Kurama tilted his head toward the sky, which was ironically a bright blue. Kurama walked to the edge of town where a steep cliff lead to a fast-moving river below. Kurama stood at the edge looking down. '_If I were to jump… they may as well think someone pushed me.'_ Kurama stood there for a while, then walked away, sighing. Hiei didn't love him, so what was holding him back? His mother? Kurama thought of the woman he had planned to kill before, and pushed the thought aside. No matter how much he wanted to believe Hiei didn't love him, there was still that little hope that there was some mutual feeling. Kurama sighed again as he made his way home, walking noisily though the front door and climbing the stairs unusually slow, only to return to his bed and sleep again, uneasily.

He only woke the next day because his mother shook him awake, the time being seven thirty, Kurama was late to school as it was. Slowly Kurama climbed out of bed, his mother leaving to fix breakfast as he dressed and came downstairs. He grabbed the sandwich his mother made him and walked out the door, heading toward the school but then taking a side street to an alley. He threw the sandwich to a hungry looking dog and continued to the end of the alley, where he jumped a fence and ran across a patio to another street where he just continued walking. It was only an hour after school had started when Koenma appeared, fuming, in front of him. Kurama looked at him, unamused, and Koenma screamed at his face.

"Where WERE you? I have been looking for you ALL day, and you were SUPPOSED to be at school! Yusuke and the gang have been on this mission for FOUR HOURS already while YOU walk around and AVOID people!" Koenma who was obviously not in a good mood, snapped his fingers and they both appeared in Makai, the starting point for yet another mission. Koenma pointed to ward an ominous castle in the distance as Kurama thought 'not this again'. Koenma explained, and then left, though Kurama barely caught a word he said. _'go into the caste, find Yusuke, defeat the monsters. Got it.'_ Kurama headed toward the castle, not running, but not at a lazy pace either. When he did reach the castle, he came face to face with a demon twice his size. Kurama froze, partially in fear, partially because the demon was blocking his path and with one swift motion Kurama was bound and warded, the demon laughing manically. Kurama cursed at himself for being caught so easily and cursed himself again as the demon swung him over his shoulder and carried him into the castle. Kurama would have watched where the demon was taking him, but the bumpy ride made him feel sick, and he shut his eyes tight, trying to concentrate on other things. When he was finally set down, he was shoved into a warded cage, just large enough for him to sit comfortably, cross-legged. The demon laughed again, then walked out of the room, which Kurama noticed was pitch black once the demon shut a stone door behind him.

Kurama curled himself up into a ball, bringing his knees up tight to his chest and wished desperately he could be held by Hiei. He looked timidlyaround the dark room; he couldn't see a thing but he felt various demons caged at different corners of the room and heard them once and awhile when they screamed or rattled the bars of thier cages. A chill flowed through Kurama's body and he shivered, still shaking after the chill faded. He was scared, for one of the first times in his life; no one around but demons in warded cages and he in one himself. He didn't know whether, or when the demon who put him here would return, and he didn't want to think of it. He calmed himself and stopped quivering, taking deep breath and leaning against one of the bars. It was dark, and Kurama was tired, but he didn't dare close his eyes. Time passed, but Kurama did not know how long it was, he was thinking, waiting for an opportunity to escape. Escape to where? He didn't know that either, but he kept waiting, waiting for someone or something to break the wards that prohibited him from any means of attack, defense or escape.

* * *

Kurama had drifted into a daze when a loud noise startled him, making him jump and hit his head on the cage bars. His breathing quickened and he could feel his heart beat against his chest as the sound of stone against stone suggested the giant door of the room opening. Holding his breath, Kurama waited for the sound of a voice, but didn't hear anything except footsteps approach him. The feet to which the steps belonged shuffled around the room, banging into cages and startling the demons inside. There was a growl and bars rattling, followed by a yelp that Kurama recognized, making him sigh in relief. "Yusuke, over here!" Kurama said, beckoning the detective with his voice.

"Kurama, is that you?" Yusuke scrambled over to the spot Kurama's voice was coming from, and felt around franticly, discovering bars and a cold steel lock. "Kurama, what are yo--"

"Yusuke, the cage is warded, remove the wards and I can help you unlock it," Kurama interrupted, not wanting to have to explain. Yusuke proceeded to feel along the bars, discovering paper wrapped around them every foot or so. While Yusuke was busy with the wards, Kurama waited patiently, until he had successfully cleared the wards from the lock. Then Kurama worked at the lock, using avine to try and pick it open. The moment the door was opened, Kurama clambered out of the cage and into the clear, with the help of Yusuke's guiding hand. "Where are the others?" Kurama asked when he stood up straight and looked around, seeing nothing but black.

"Fighting the demons down there." Yusuke made a motion indicating the rest of the team below them, but Kurama didn't see. Blindly, the two felt their way around growls and sharp claws, until a blinding light filled the room. Another door had been opened, evidently, a door to the outside. Kurama and Yusuke both stood there for a moment, just trying to recover their sight, not even thinking about who or what had opened the door.

As the scene cleared around him, Kurama noticed, in horror, the demon had returned. It growled, taking a strange stance, seeming to challenge them both. Kurama blinked, but drew his rose as Yusuke prepared a spirit gun. They attacked at once, only a little offbeat of each other, but the small bit was enough. The lack of coordination sent Yusuke flying into a wall, and Kurama missing greatly. While Yusuke recovered from his run in with the wall, Kurama fought the demon, doing quite well compared to his last encounter. Once Yusuke was back in the fight, Kurama backed out a little, seeing as their teamwork wasn't working quite as well. When the demon lay dead, Yusuke was panting, and they both were exploring the door the demon had come through. "This is it," Yusuke breathed, half though the doorway.

"What is it?" Kurama asked, questioningly. He could guess it was a portal, judging by the unnatural light coming though, but to what he couldn't tell.

"To Ningenkai," Yusuke answered, stepping away from the door and looking at Kurama. "We have to seal it somehow."

"That I can do," Kurama said proudly, turning to the door and preparing an energy blast to disrupt the wavelength of energy connecting the two worlds. Once fired, the door collapsed, plunging them into darkness once more.The few second of silence were disrupted by two pairs of footsteps running down a hall, accompanied by an insult or two. It was not quite as dark as before, and as their eyes all adjusted to the dim light, they saw Hiei and Kuwabara, a bit disheveled, standing before them. Hiei had a gash across his chest as well as a deep cut in his shoulder, and Kurama instinctively ran to his side. "What happened to you guys?" Kurama asked, looking away from Hiei a moment to notice the bloody and bruised Kuwabara.

"We got 'em," Kuwabara said, a proud look on his battered face.

"We would have been up here a lot faster if you hadn't threw off my concentration!" Hiei growled, clutching agash that cut across his thigh.

"We're finished," Yusuke stated, heading for the exit with Kuwabara behind him. Kurama tried to help Hiei, but the fire demon pushed him away.

"Leave me a lone Kurama, I don't want your help." Kurama recoiled at the words, and hung back a little, following the others slowly out of the castle where Botan was waiting.

With little conversation, They were all back in Ningenkai, standing next to Kurama's house. Yusuke and Kuwabara left, but Hiei rested for a minute, not wanting to test his injuries.

"Hiei," Kurama said softly, hand reaching out, then dropping at his side. "Are you sure you'll be ok? I mean, I could bandage those for you." Hiei straightened looking Kurama in the eye, but not saying anything.

"I told you I didn't need your help. I can do it myself." Kurama nodded sadly and Hiei ran off. Kurama stared at the place Hiei was just a few seconds ago, then turned to go inside.

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A/N: DON'T KILL ME! I love the couple HieixKurama but I had this inspiration… long story


	3. Sayonara

This chap is dedicated to my friend Jen. (You know why… I hope)

* * *

Absentmindedly turning on the radio,Kurama laid on the couch, eyes closed and arm resting on his forehead. He ignored the growling coming from his stomach, not feeling like getting up, and listened to the music softly coming from the kitchen. At first Kurama didn't reallylisten, but then a song came on that caught his attention. He sat up, staring curiously into space is he listened, scarcely breathing, and not moving. When the song was over, Kurama heard the announcer call the song, "Smile" by Lonestar. Kurama didn't stir for another few minutes, deep in thought and considering the things the song had to say.

Lonestar was right though, if he really loved Hiei, he would let him go. Kurama got up, putting his coat back on and hurrying down the street, anxious to get to the store and back before nightfall. He walked into a book and music store, walking to the racks that held the CDs, then realizing, he didn't know the name of the album. Kurama quietly walked up to the clerk and told him the name of the song and the artist. The clerk stooped behind the counter, then handed him a CD.

" Lonely Grill. You're lucky, that's the last copy; they sold fast." Kurama nodded his thanks and paid for the CD, then hurried home. By the time he got home, his mother was home from work, smiling as he came through the door.

"What do you have there, Shuichi." Kurama smiled back, walking over to his mother and giving her a kiss.

"Just some good advice." Kurama walked up the stairs to his room, opening his small CD player and putting in the new CD. He looked on the back for the track number, and set it to play. He listened to it once through, a sense of reprieve washing over him, and putting his aching heart at ease. Kurama smiled subtly, pulling his guitar from his closet and sitting in his desk chair. He quickly found the chords, and a little roughly, played along with the song. On the third try, he had the chords down, and almost knew the words.

The sun just setting, left an orange glow in the sky as Kurama sang the song for the fourth time, by himself.

**"I still remember the night we met**

**You said you loved my smile"**

Kurama sang with all his heart, not loudly, for he didn't want his mother to hear, but loud enough to hear over his guitar.

**"But your love for me was like a summer breeze**

**Oh, it lasted for a while"**

Kurama smiled to himself, thinking of Hiei again, but itdidn't sadden himlike before.

**"I could hold on a little tighter I know**

**But when you love someone you gotta let 'em go."**

Kurama paused for a moment, and took a deep breath, telling himself he would let Hiei go, because he loved him. Smiling a little to himself, Kurama continued.

**"So, I'm gonna smile, 'cause I want to make you happy**

**Laugh, so you can't see me cry**

**I'm gonna let you go in style**

**And even if it kills me**

**I'm gonna smile."**

Kurama smiled again, whispering to himself before he continued, "Even if it kills me."

**"Kiss me once for the good times, baby**

**Kiss me twice for goodbye**

**You can't help how you don't feel**

**And it doesn't matter why**

**Give me a chance to bow out gracefully**

**'Cause that's how I want you to remember me."**

'_Don't forget me Hiei,'_ Kurama thought, going on to the chorus.

**"I'm gonna smile, 'cause I want to make you happy**

**Laugh, so you can't see me cry**

**I'm gonna let you go in style**

**And even if it kills me**

**I'm gonna smile."**

_'I still love you…'_ Kurama kept singing and ignored the tear that rolled down his cheek.

**"I'm gonna smile so you can find the courage**

**Laugh, so you won't see me hurtin'**

**I'm gonna let you go in style**

**And even if it kills me**

**I'm gonna smile..."**

Kurama smiled once more, still crying silently, and set his guitar against the wall, laying down onto his bed and immediately falling asleep.

Outside, a small fire demon was perched in the tree, listening intently and enjoying the music. There was a pause of silence when the song ended and Hiei smiled.

"Hn," he said softly before he disappeared into the red dusk.

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A/N: If you ever get a chance to listen to the song "Smile" DO! it's a lovely, but sad song. Really! Great music and perfect lyrics. It's my new favorite song 


End file.
